The Northern Aggression Podcast

Hoods and Pillow Cases

Marshall opens the episode with a topic—which immediately alarms Gunter because she has no idea where this is going. He admits he’s been thinking about two things: transgender people and cosplay… and mosquitoes. Naturally, he starts with mosquitoes, thanks to getting eaten alive while doing yard work.
A sighting at the dog park sparks the jump to the other topic. Marshall explains that while he accepts people, he absolutely reserves the right to judge. Gunter agrees. From there, the conversation somehow winds its way into cosplay, therapy (which both Marshall and Gunter genuinely advocate for), and a surprising number of crosses making appearances.
They recount accidentally stumbling into Comic-Con once, throw some shade at Cracker Barrel, and confirm that Marshall does not endorse the Harry Potter lifestyle—Gunter doesn’t really get it either. Gunter introduces a mushroom pod that lets you compost yourself when you die, which she finds bizarre and Marshall finds deeply unsettling.
Marshall spirals into a rant about internet cookies (and probably the internet in general), references a book about pool hall deviants, and falls down a rabbit hole involving Ooltewah. Fashion judgments follow, Gunter points out that they judge everything, and Marshall—shockingly—admits his hatred of the Welsh is mostly baseless (mark the date).
The episode wraps with Marshall’s impression of the music from The Last Kingdom, lovingly referred to as “the wailing woman.”
It’s mosquitoes, morality, cosplay, and unnecessary opinions—Northern Aggression doing what it does best.

Bonus Episode: Can I Do Chess In The Special Olympics?

Marshall is back on his favorite battlefield: laundry. This time, he’s furious that Gunter’s shirts refuse to stay on hangers, which somehow becomes a broader commentary on order, chaos, and personal responsibility.
Gunter casually shares that she’d love to be featured on Dateline. Marshall absolutely would not. That launches him into a rant about the overuse of words like “legit trauma,” “crisis,” and “outrage,” because apparently we’re all misusing everything.
Marshall unveils his wrestling persona (yes, really), and the two discuss how people look after being on GLP medications—because no topic is off-limits. At some point, Gunter tunes him out, which Marshall immediately blames on her phone.
Marshall also floats the idea of competing in the Special Olympics (in true Marshall fashion, this is said with zero filter), and once again pitches his long-standing idea: “Don’t Wear Sleeves to Work Week.”
Laundry, language, and wildly unapproved initiatives—just another day in Marshall’s world.

Bonus Episode: Pinoeering The Use Of Pro-Verbs

arshall just wanted to volunteer. That’s it. Fill out a simple form and move on. But of course… there are issues. The form asks for pronouns, which sends Marshall into a full spiral—not just about forms, but about what would apparently become his political platform.
Things escalate when Marshall reveals he listed “Yankee” as his ethnicity, because naturally he did.
As if that wasn’t enough, Marshall overhears kids at dinner discussing “culture,” which opens up an entirely new lane of confusion and commentary. Gunter listens, questions, and occasionally pushes back—but mostly just lets Marshall keep digging.
What starts as a simple volunteer form turns into identity, politics, and a whole lot of opinions no one asked for.
Classic Marshall.

Bonus Episode: Curly Fries Make You Happy

Gunter and Marshall are not on the same page today. Gunter boldly claims Marshall is profoundly unhappy. Marshall disagrees—he just thinks the world would be a better place if he could sell curly fries and bring people joy. Gunter is not convinced that curly fries alone can fix things.
From there, the conversation spirals into luxury purses, lip filler, and cheek implants—because obviously that’s the next logical step. Marshall introduces the Red Bull pricing philosophy as part of his worldview, while Gunter tries (unsuccessfully) to connect the dots.
They also reflect on how Marshall’s mom must have parented him, which leads to a reminder that in 1981, spanking was considered acceptable—and yes, Marshall confirms he got spanked. “The love,” as he puts it.
It’s fries, feelings, and flawed logic—another perfectly misaligned episode.

Bonus Episode: Focus On The Pink Hot Pants

Marshall opens the episode singing ad jingles, which tells you everything you need to know about where this is headed. He quickly pivots into talking about ads in general before Gunter steers things into a trip down memory lane—house hunting.
They recount buying their current home and the moment Marshall noticed something unsettling: a flamingo by the neighbor’s mailbox. Now there’s also a pineapple, which creates a very confusing situation for Marshall that he cannot let go of.
Somehow, the conversation jumps to recent news involving Brian Nohm, husband of former DHS Secretary Kristjen Nohm, because topical commentary is clearly part of the plan (it’s not).
Marshall then wraps things up with a full lesson on centuries and how AD, BC, and CE actually work—because if there’s one thing he’s going to do, it’s correct your understanding of time.
Singing, symbolism, and unsolicited history lessons—just another normal episode.

Bonus Episode: Rocking the Freak Show

Fresh off Season 4, Marshall and Gunter debrief a recent trip to a Mexican restaurant—where Marshall was apparently doing full-scale anthropological research. Highlights include a woman in a very tight shirt and a nerdy couple that Marshall insists cannot possibly be on a date (Gunter strongly disagrees).
Marshall also raises a critical fashion question: why do we wear leg warmers with leggings? Because yes, he still has unresolved issues with leggings in general.
There are inappropriate jokes (naturally), unsolicited fashion commentary, and Marshall judging absolutely everything in his field of vision.
Short, chaotic, and exactly the kind of bonus episode you didn’t ask for—but got anyway.

Manifest Destiny

Marshall and Gunter openly admit they don’t really plan episodes — which honestly explains a lot. Fresh off their Olive Garden adventure (yes, go back and listen), they try another Italian restaurant and quickly become invested in a couple who appear to be on one of their first dates.
When the woman says, “You have to be mature to act childlike,” Marshall has thoughts. Of course he does.
Marshall declares college athletes are loud jerks, they share a surprisingly good story about a McDonald’s employee in northern Illinois, and wander into a discussion about how “insensitive” the 80s were. The nearby date continues providing material — especially when the woman mentions she considered joining the Air Force just to travel. Gunter is convinced Marshall is seconds away from jumping into their conversation.
Statistics come up. That sets Marshall off. Gunter even jumps in with a few strong takes of her own.
They also update listeners on the bathroom renovation nearing completion and explain that they had planned a special Christmas episode… but it never happened because Gunter broke her ankle. So yes, that one is on the shelf.
Marshall closes things out by butchering song lyrics and performing a few showtunes — in full Marshall fashion.
Unplanned. Observational. Slightly theatrical. Entirely Northern Aggression.

Just the Tip - The Gift Card Debacle

Marshall boldly claims this is an “action packed episode,” which should immediately concern everyone. He starts with professional development — despite famously hating professional development — and Gunter wastes no time calling him out. Of course, there are references to prior episodes because continuity matters… sometimes.
Marshall shares about his mom’s dementia battle, and they both reflect on what MRIs were like in the 1990s. From there, things take a very Marshall turn: he explains how he edits greeting cards to make them actually applicable.
At the place they work (which they “don’t talk about”), there’s apparently a course called Crucial Conversations — and surprise — Marshall takes issue with it. He also recounts taking an etiquette class, which in true Marshall fashion includes a completely unhinged story.
Then comes the pasta rant. Because yes, that’s happening. Marshall and Gunter went to Olive Garden and nearly everything about the experience sets him off. Gunter calls him out — again — for his ongoing hatred of France.
It’s heartfelt, ridiculous, nostalgic, and argumentative — all in one “action packed” package.
 
In loving memory of Teresa Ann Marshall.

Olympic Track Meet

Marshall kicks things off with his highly questionable suggestions for new Olympic events in swimming and track & field. Spoiler: the IOC will not be calling.
Then things take a hard left as he brings up a BBC article about a Spanish soccer player facing backlash for hiring entertainers with dwarfism. Gunter and Marshall attempt to unpack the situation… but let’s be honest, staying on topic isn’t their strong suit.
Between Olympic fantasies, scandal commentary, and tangent after tangent (yes, the pun was intended), this episode is what you expect: off the rails, barely filtered, and somehow still hilarious.

Chin Hair Distribution

Marshall and Gunter attempt to video themselves recording the podcast—because clearly adding cameras won’t make things worse. Gunter immediately discovers a rogue chin hair and is deeply upset that no one warned her. Marshall helpfully compares it to old-man eyebrow hairs, which does not improve the situation.
They take a brief DIY detour to talk about installing window film, then pivot to where they’d be willing to accept sponsorships (Cowgirl Pizza officially makes the list). Gunter reveals that Marshall insists on buying T-shirts from restaurants they visit, which feels important for you to know. Marshall also takes a casual swipe at Pittsburgh, just because.
Marshall then announces he wants to talk about distributions—gender edition. This somehow involves his French friend having twins, a strong stance against assigning pink or blue to babies, and—inevitably—another jab at the French.
And because no episode is complete without it, Marshall wraps things up by ranting about toilet paper commercials with bears. Honestly, what doesn’t he have a problem with?
Cameras, chin hairs, consumer outrage, and cultural commentary—Northern Aggression at its finest.