The Northern Aggression Podcast

Season 2 is a wrap! Thank you!

Thanks for sticking with us through Season 2 of Northern Aggression! We’ve had a blast bringing the chaos, the rants, and the questionable life advice your way. We’ll be back soon with Season 3, and trust us—we’ve got plenty of unhinged stories, hot takes, and nonsense in store. Stay tuned… you won’t want to miss it.

The Conceit of Language

Marshall is already riled up—with rage and a fresh rant about word fragments. He’s got strong feelings about bar soap (he likes them plain, not fancy), and yes, he’s read a book about dictionaries. Gunter accuses him of reading a book about everything, which makes buying him new ones nearly impossible. Marshall dives into Gen Z slang, enigma machines, and jean rises, and Gunter calls him out for being a mathlete.
They trade jabs over bird knowledge, situational awareness, and recognizing when someone’s being hit on—spoiler: Gunter wins that round. Marshall shares a story about rejecting a woman’s invitation to dance and makes a bold claim about porn helping move information across the internet. Naturally, that somehow leads to a tangent about planes and astronaut John Young. Just another day in the chaos.

Hexapus

Word’s getting out—people Marshall and Gunter work with are starting to ask about the podcast. Meanwhile, Marshall needs something explained to him (again). Today’s topic? Whole body deodorant. He’s convinced it exists because no one bathed during the pandemic. Gunter tries to clarify, but Marshall accuses her of being unable to explain anything clearly—which launches a chaotic tangent about girls Gunter went to high school with and their differing takes on certain... activities. There’s a whole debate about not getting it in your hair (yes, really). Even Marshall’s mom liked Wild Things, and somehow Creed makes an appearance too.
Marshall also doesn’t understand men’s skincare and questions a bizarre product that weaves into your shoelaces—something he calls a “hexapus.” Gunter’s fighting a losing battle, and Marshall admits he’s not exactly a DIY guy. Just another normal episode of pure nonsense.

The Angry German

Gunter’s been test-driving what Marshall calls “boug-mobiles,” and somehow things immediately spiral. Marshall hates modern car manuals, makes a religious joke mid-test drive, and casually tells a salesman the trunk is big enough to fit his body. (Spoiler: they were not amused.) Gunter gets called out for her driving, Marshall roasts her again, and they both agree they probably didn’t look like they could afford the cars anyway. We also hear about Marshall’s mom and her strong German sensibilities. Buckle up—just don’t let Marshall behind the wheel.

Delightful Frothy Puke

Marshall kicks things off with a warning: this episode contains adult content (which… yeah, fair). Gunter calls him out for declaring yet another "very special episode." Marshall had a dream he had to get on tape, and the results are predictably unhinged. They take a detour into pandemic memories, uninvited invitations, and Marshall’s deep (and disturbing) appreciation for Shamrock Shakes. Apparently, he thinks vomiting one is a “delightful” experience. Gunter is baffled, per usual. Marshall shares the time he was hit on and totally missed it—until his friends pointed it out in real time. Nothing makes sense, and that somehow makes total sense.

I Hate Illinois Nazis

Marshall had a dream… and Gunter died. But don’t worry—there was a spreadsheet involved. Gunter calls him out for not being that devastated, and somehow ends up being accused of being Welsh. Again. They talk Dateline, death, and math (but not “fancy math,” Marshall insists). Gunter wins the calculus argument. Marshall shares his spiritual connection to The Blues Brothers and demands to know why we can’t make fun of stupid things anymore. It's chaos, but it’s organized chaos—because there's probably a spreadsheet for it.

Prepping the Welsh

Marshall’s got gripes—this time it’s Gen Z, drug names, and German cars. He swears he’s not talking politics, but we go from Bernie Mac to Jimmy Carter in under two minutes. Gunter just wants to tell a story, but Marshall’s relentless interruptions make it a team effort. He’s mad Gunter doesn’t give him breaking news. She’s confused about what article they’re even discussing. And yes, Marshall’s coming for the Welsh again (because of course he is). We also finally ask the world’s most important question: who’s worse—the Welsh or the French? Marshall claims to be panlingual. Sure, buddy.

Penises and Popscicles

Marshall opens strong with his usual disclaimer—he claims no responsibility. Gunter’s got penis questions inspired by TikTok videos, and somehow Ding Dongs, Twinkies, and squash become part of the conversation. Things immediately go off the rails. Marshall recounts Gunter falling at the Arizona Capitol (just one incident in a long résumé of clumsiness). There’s outrage over banana popsicles getting their own box, Southern analogies, and a disturbing revelation about what Marshall’s mom thinks of when she hears the word novelties. Absolutely nothing is safe in this episode.

Marshmallows for Dinner

Marshall is once again confused why anyone thinks this podcast is funny—but hey, here we are. Gunter debuts a new designer purse, and Marshall roasts it with zero knowledge of labels or prices (she’s not telling anyway). Gunter spills the time Marshall frog-hopped into Walmart. We also learn that Marshall’s old boss tried to fix him with public speaking classes. Spoiler: it didn’t work. There’s malicious compliance, chicken tender sauce debates, and a traumatic McNugget origin story. Marshall insists Gunter should be cooking for him, while Gunter just calls him boring. Also: men searching the skies for flying objects is somehow relevant. And whatever you do, don’t miss Marshall’s encouragement to search “Benny Hinn + Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.” You're welcome.

The Funny Uncle

Marshall and Gunter recount getting stared down at dinner—probably because their religion convo went one bridge too far. Marshall has a bold vision for a mega church empire, while Gunter sees $$$ and Marshall calls her indulgent. There's talk of fun uncles vs. funny uncles, but Gunter can’t seem to explain much without spiraling. They take you on a fashion-judging tour of Walmart, where Gunter has to explain dude wipes to a horrified Marshall (brace yourself). Throw in a rant about workplace benefits, and you've got an episode that definitely needs a warning label.